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01 July 2007

Blooms again, but never again

I have had bad meals in the past, we all have. However, a recent dinner at Blooms was the first time I have had a truly awful meal whilst accompanied by a restaurant critic from a national newspaper.

What made this particular meal worse - and genuinely it was so awful it is hard to believe anything could have been worse than what we ate - was that I had cheerily invited Jay Rayner, the Observer's food critic, citing my two previously good experiences. In my invitation I did mention a third, more recent meal, when my grilled liver resembled a particularly tasteless, tough piece of shoe leather, but I dismissed that as an aberration. I was wrong. It seems to be the norm.

You might argue, "you had two good meals, now you have had two bad meals, maybe they're just inconsistent." They are certainly that. But any restaurant that dares serve the quality of food we ate and has the chutzpah to charge people for it, is a truly awful establishment.

Read Jay's eloquent review for an insight into what we had to put up with. It was a trip down memory lane we would both rather forget.

Before I go, I have to praise Jay and his kind. I thought being a restaurant critic was all about eating at the world's greatest restaurants, or gorging yourself in a dining marathon. I now know that it is much harder than that. Especially when you have to order ersatz custard, made from heaven knows what, but almost certainly not egg and definitely not milk, all in the name of journalistic thoroughness. I pleaded, begging him, feeling like Zammo, to just say no to the waitress offering him this curdled mess atop the apple pie. In spite of my wailing, he perservered. Mr Rayner you're a mensch and a martyr to your profession, I salute you. I also profoundly and grovellingly apologise for dragging you along to Blooms.


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Was planning on heading to the new and improved looking Blooms, but sounds as though i'd be best to give it a miss. Thanks for the warning.


R, I do my best to provide a service. You might want to try it out and see if you think it was appalling as I thought. Then again, you might not.

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