MEPs shy away from honest labelling of meat & obscure the issues.

When it comes to food regulation the EU has a bad reputation.  These may not be entirely accurate recollections but I'm sure I've seen mutterings about the bend of bananas, the tinge of tomatoes or the provenance of pasties.

It can seem so silly and petty.  Most often it seems fundamentally wrong-headed.  And so it has come to pass yet again, this time some Members of the European Parliament have decided to focus on slaughter by the halal and shechitah methods.

The regulation on food information for the consumer is supposed to be about allowing consumers to make healthier choices when they buy food.  Struan Stevenson, a Scottish Tory MEP and some colleagues have decided to stretch the meaning of healthy as far as possible and are trying to re-direct the regulation to incorporate some spurious animal welfare ideas. In particular, he has singled out the slaughtering methods of the Jewish and Muslim religions for special labelling treatment.  You can read his amendment here (Word doc, pg 138, amendment 354) but for those who don't want to scroll I'll quote:

"This product comes from an animal slaughtered by the Halal method"

And

"This product comes from an animal slaughtered by the Shechita method"

In other words they want a sticker across your pack of mince saying

"Don't buy this meat.  It was SLAUGHTERED by RELIGIOUS nutjobs"

To be clear, Mr Stevenson is not asking for other meat to be labelled according to its slaughtering method.  So for example if you happened to buy meat that was killed at this abattoir Mr Stevenson does not think it necessary that your food is labelled

"Don't buy this meat.  We have it on camera that they are psychopaths that kill the animals and we all know that psychos torture animals before they turn their attention to humans.  Steer well clear!!!!"

He's just focusing on those darned Jews and Muslims.

I shouldn't just pick on Mr Stevenson, despite what a tempting target he makes.  Dan Jørgensen, Christel Schaldemose and Sirpa Pietikäinen want your meat to say

"Meat from slaughter without stunning"

But my favourite is from the brilliantly named Gerben-Jan Gerbrandy who wants to target

"Meat and meat products derived from animals that have not been stunned prior to slaughter, i.e. have been ritually slaughtered"

Hmm, that reminds me of that scene in Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom where the guy's heart gets ripped out whilst he's alive. 

Before we get too carried away with all this blood lust, let's just remind ourselves that this legislation is supposed to be about ensuring that consumers make healthier choices. 

Mr Stevenson has made no attempt to argue that his amendments benefit the health of the consumer, for the obvious reason that he never could.  Whatever one's moral issue with shechita or halal, you'd be hard pushed to argue that meat killed by this method is less healthy than meat killed by secular methods.

So why do Mr Stevenson and his colleagues think it's so important that consumers know and what could the consequences of such knowledge possibly be.  With Indiana Jones in mind, it's hard not to think that possibly, just possibly, people might be put off a teency bit by the big bad label.

The average consumer will be innocently trying to buy a leg of lamb when they see a label telling them the following facts:

Fact: Their meat was slaughtered. 

"No way, my meat was slaughtered?!  I don't want meat that has undergone anything like slaughter.  No siree.  Never in my life have I eaten meat that was slaughtered. I'm not starting now."

Fact: It was slaughtered for religious reasons.

"Those bastards, look what they've done.  What was it Marx said about all religious nuts smoking opium.  He was right, otherwise no-one would slaughter meat."

Which leaves our consumer wandering off in a haze looking for some meat that clearly hasn't been slaughtered and clearly hasn't been slaughtered to sate some fanatics' blood lust.

Oh pish you say, Silverbrow you're exaggerating.  Am I?  If I am, then why aren't Mr Stevenson et al calling for labelling of all meat.  Why not propose

"Meat from slaughter but the stunning didn't quite work so to all intents and purposes this animal wasn't actually stunned"

Or

"Chicken that was too short to get fully electrocuted in the water bath.  But don't worry, we had already sliced off its beak to stop it fighting with its bathing companions"

Or

"Meat from a pig that wasn't fully knocked out when we gassed it"

Or

"Meat from an animal that required multiple bolts to the head because the gun was a bit defective or perhaps the bloke using it was just a bit shakier today than he was yesterday."

If the MEPs really cared about informing consumers then they'd go the whole way with labelling.  They wouldn't stop at halal or shechitah.  They shouldn't stop there because as they know full well, there is nothing wrong with them.  They cause no more pain to the animal being slaughtered and in many cases, especially when compared to the vast majority of slaughtering in the UK, much greater care is taken of these animals.

So MEPs, why can't you rise to the challenge?  The kosher and halal communities already label their food.  They're past masters at it.  Why don't you either accept that your amendments have nothing to do with this legislation.  Or, if you insist on the worst kind of policy creep, then go the whole hog and allow the consumer to be truly informed.  Admittedly it won't impact their ability to make healthy choices but it might open their eyes to the cruelty of so much secular slaughter.  The consumer can think twice about buying the bacon from the gassed pig or steak from the floundering, wounded cow.

Good luck Adrian, adieu Margot's

Some restaurants generate far too much excitement and others not enough.  Whether it's the bizarre fascination with Michelin's annual announcements or the latest hot (London) thing on blogs, it is easy to forget that there are restaurants that simply do what one expects a restaurant will: serve you a meal you'll enjoy.  Margot's certainly did that.

I was therefore very sad to see the news that Margot's is being sold by its owner Adrian Oliver. My meal there several years ago remains a highlight of writing this blog. 

Adrian's restaurant was exactly the sort of place many people would dream of as their ideal restaurant, either to own or live close to.  The food was delicious thanks to the never failing combination of great ingredients and a chef able to do them justice.  However, he didn't forget that restaurants are also in the hospitality business and he was a generous and very welcoming host.

As far as I'm aware, Margot's never won any national plaudits, despite in my and others opinion deserving them. It was not the type of food that would get a Michelin star but surely a bib gourmand was in order.  Why does it matter?  Because Margot's is in Padstow, home of Rick Stein's empire.  Whilst I'm sure he deserves his success, it does no harm for tourists to be reminded there are other very good restaurants there as well.

Unfortunately my only meal there was a pretty quick lunch.  I know Adrian is still there and hasn't sold yet, but I imagine it won't be too long.  I wish him and his family all the best for the future.  As a parting shot, if Adrian reads this, I wonder if you might just share your bread, haddock chowder and sticky toffee pudding recipes is there?  I can still taste them all.

If you know of any great unsung restaurants, wherever they are, please leave details in the comments below.

 

I Can Cook

I have many memories of cooking with my mother as I grew up. The kitchen was the centre of the house and meals were loud affairs with a fair few generations screaming at each other.

I remember clearly baking biscuits that I expected the family to devour.  These same biscuits were alternatively used as clay pigeon targets.  I considered the kitchen a place of experimentation and like Escoffier before me, regarded sauces as a key element of my repetoir.  A particular favourite was dijon, tomato ketchup and worcestershire sauce.  A real highlight was creating a concoction that I swore blindly to my mother I had seen my brother make and was delicious.  It consisted of using the magimix to blend some uncooked wurst, matzo and haimisha pickles together.  This dish was quite unique in just how vile it turned out.  To her credit, my mother let me make mistakes like this.  She also insisted I eat the lot and clear up.

So I made mistakes, but I learned from them and most importantly I learned from her and the confidence and knowledge I gained has stood me in very good stead.

I'm a sucker for journalists sucking their teeth as the country goes down the plug hole and if statistics are to be believed, in the UK we're watching more food TV programmes than ever, but cooking far less.  If that's the case then I think, there's no programme more important than CBeebies' I Can Cook.  Silverbrowlette is mildly obsessed with it.

It is possible this is because her 3am feeds were consumed in front of some rerun of 'Floyd on...' or one of Rick Stein's many outings.

It could also be because the programme is fun to watch and she's figured out that cooking is a lot like mucking about with paint or play-dough, but more tasty.

I've read some criticism of the show along the lines of the presenter being too annoying, the songs too catchy.  But this is kids TV afterall.  What stands out, are the long term benefits of the show.  The religious fervour of hand washing is helpful to ensure that we don't all have to end-up with snotty, dripping noses.  The trips to the well manicured gardens ensure that some kids at least will understad that potatoes start in the ground, rather than the crisp factory.

Recipes can be a bit odd, such as the pizza with grapes on it, but the olive rolls are actually quite tasty.  We are lucky, our daughter generally is not a fussy eater.  However, on those occasions when she does play up, the easiest way to get her to tuck in, is if she was involved in making it in the first place.

There was particular delight in our household when Mrs S realised that an I Can Cook cookbook has recently been published.  It was Silverbrowlette's best Chanukah present and ours if it prevents re-runs of my early disasters.

Undoubtedly, there will be some (inverted) snobs who will claim that a show recommending the use of polenta is disconnected from the real world.  That is no excuse for failing to introduce new ideas to children.  In my experience kids are only too happy to experiment and try new things if they get given the opportunity. 

I don't understand the smugness of parents who take such delight in claiming they never let their kids watch TV.  Some TV is very good, it's also part of our world and our kid's world.  In my entirely unprofessional opinion, you are only going to enhance your child's development by letting them spend 15 minutes watching an episode.  Failing that, can I recommend just spending some time with them cooking?  It's surprisingly good fun.

 

Chanukah 2010

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. I want to wish everyone a very Happy Chanukah, full of as many deep fried things and presents as you could possible consume.

Given that it is that time of year of unbridled consumerism and gluttony, can I point to you to my very own shop, kindly hosted by Amazon.  I've listed some of my favourite books and kitchen equipment.  If you're particularly looking for bookish inspiration, I've got more listed in what I've pompously named my library.

If you just want a bit of schmaltz, then watch the video below.  Take it away Harrison Avenue School 2007 Kindergarten.

 

Keys to Good Cooking

Few people are held in such high reverence in the world of food as Harold McGee.  It's a given that his On Food & Cooking is 'the most thumbed', 'splattered with sauce' or 'falling apart from overuse' in every chef's book collection. 

Given his exalted status, a new book by McGee is going to forment much excitement.  As I opened the envelope of my review copy of Keys to Good Cooking and I realised what was inside, I'm fairly certain I let out a slightly camp 'Oooooh'.  Then I opened it and I let out a more Eeyoreish 'Ohhhhh'.

After the excitment of On Food, this seemed rather flat, all a bit pedestrian.  To continue the cartoon theme, a bit Noddyish.  I hadn't bothered to read any of the blurb about the book, I just knew this was more from the great McGee. Surely, this was an epilogue to On Food, he'd made new discoveries and this book was the exposition of that.

I was wrong.  If anything, it's the prologue.  Or at the very least, it's the simplified, spare version of On Food & Cooking.  It's a doorstep like it's big brother, but it is no chef's book.  It is the home cook's bible.  I'd say, having delved into it, that it could be the most important book written for the home cook for many years. 

The science of food - that McGee is in large part responsible for propogating - beloved by the the professional and keen amateur cook is complex and confusing.  I think it can all seem rather cliquey and knowing.  This book cuts through all that to the core issues.

It tees itself up as helping the reader to understand their recipes but it is not a recipe book.  From what I have read, and I'd be lying if I said I'd read it cover to cover, it does just that.  It explains why a sauce will curdle, and why it's a wise move to add lemon juice to artichokes, in a very accessible way.  I think the ideal way to use it, is find a recipe you like and then read the relevant section in Keys on each of the key ingredients.  Anyone doing this on a regular basis will be hard pressed not to be a better cook.

True, if On Food was read in the same way, I think one's cooking skills would improve immeasurably.  But On Food is not a book for everyone.  Keys is.

Whenever I'm asked what book any kitchen should have, my stock response has been The Cook's Book.  Its combination of insight, technique and recipes is exceptionally useful.  I'll now add Keys to Good Cooking to that very short list of must haves.  I can't recommend it enough.

The SsLuT

I haven't always kept kosher.  It was a rash decision I took before my barmitzvah.  As I was learning more about my religion, I realised it was something I wanted to do.  My decision may also have been influenced by my brother who made a very similar decision some years earlier.

I've only wavered once, when I was at university and increasingly getting into food in a slightly obsessive way.  I couldn't see the point of keeping kosher.  I then met a very special lady, who got me back on track.

This is a long way of saying I know not of a BLT, but I understand from all who partake that they're tasty.  And it is from the insistence of others that the SsLuT was born: smoked salmon, lettuce and tomato.

Some years ago, I got to thinking that there was an odd similarity between bacon and smoked salmon.  Obviously, there is the issue of one coming from a land based mammal and the other a fish.  One being a cheap product and the other until recently, being quite expensive.  BUT they're both quite fatty.  They're often served in strips (tenuous I know), they err towards pink (I know, I know) and their respective flavour profiles are relatively earthy.  Ok look, maybe I'm pushing my luck, but stay with me because the resulting sandwich is a stunna. 

Get some smoked salmon.  Heat your frying pan until it gets very hot, turn on the extractor (it all gets rather fishy) and place your fish in the pan.  Stand back as it sizzles and let it cook until it turns brown at the edges - shouldn't take too long at all - turn the salmon over and repeat.

This is a sandwich best eaten in either an onion platzel or a sesame bagel.  It needs mayo, preferably homemade so it's not too claggy.  Lettuce and tomato are to taste.

It's really very good.  It's the SsLuT.

Just to finish, a (useful) bit of trivia.  There is a fish that is kosher (not all of them are) that is called shibuta that supposedly tastes of pork.  It sounds pretty gross to me, I'm not sure I want my fish tasting of pork.  Nonetheless, if anyone happens to catch one as you're fishing in the Euphrates, do let me know, I'm intrigued to try it.

Koffmanns (& a plea to other bloggers)

I don't think there's a whole lot I can add to the flood of reviews on Koffmann's, most of which I fully agree with.  But I do want to make a quick comparison with my meal last year at Pierre Koffmann's pop-up at Selfridges.

The one thing that stood out about the Selfridges meal was how much fun the meal was.  As I said in my post I'm not sure what made it such fun, but it definitely was. Perhaps it came down to everyone's excitement at getting to eat Koffmann's food again.

There wasn't such a sense of fun in the room at The Berkeley.  There were lots of tourists, or business lunches (in my case) and too many bloody flashes going off, although there were a fair few of those at Selfridges as well.  However, what the room lost in buzz, the food itself more than made-up for.  It felt like the restaurant is properly in its stride compared to the meal at Selfridges.

What with the whole kosher thing, I gently turned away the offer of the pigs trotter amuse and this was swiftly replaced with a delicious plate of pickled, slightly curried cauliflower, with what I think was a balsamic reduction.  It sounds odd, and looked rather lurid, mustard yellow cauliflower, deep red sauce, but tasted delicious, the cauliflower was sharp, with gentle heat from the curry, set off by the sweetness of the reduction.  My main course of seabass was similarly delicious.  It was very unfussy, a great piece of fish well cooked.  Special mention must be made of the chips, they're outstanding.

In other words, Koffmann definitely has his mojo back.  I'd like to go back at night and see how the room compares, if the buzz is back. 

I want to finish with a request of my fellow diners: please can all bloggers stop using cameras in high-end restaurants.  I'm not saying this as a blogger who can't take photos for toffy and am jealous at other's skills.  I'm saying this as someone who goes out to enjoy my meal.  I leave others alone during their dinners and I'd really appreciate the same courtesy extended to me.  Restaurants should accept that bloggers are here to stay and want to photograph.  I therefore suggest that they provide a library of high quality photos, of a selection of dishes for people to use.  I know this isn't ideal.  I know that if a car-crash of a dish turns up someone will sneak out their iphone and tweet about it.  But seriously, flash is not cool in a restaurant.

Google Maps

Koffmann's, The Berkeley, Wilton Place, London, SW1X 7RL, UK
Tel: +44 (0)20 7235 1010

What others think

Matthew Norman - We...departed this wearyingly neutral joint unable to share the staff’s discernible conviction that it had been our privilege to eat under the Koffmann banner
Matthew Fort - Whether you go big, or go light, by the time you finish, you will know that you have eaten, and eaten splendidly.